When you are brought low, humble yourself, and rise With Grace

I have cried a lot lately. There are a multitude of reasons for this, I guess the summary reason though, is that this testing ground, we call life, is hard. It has it's delights, but it really has its share of despair and disappointments too! Subhanallah.

To detail my feelings they range from feeling like I fail daily at being a good muslimah, and my inadequacies as a mother, all the way to my shortcomings as a spouse. It doesn't help that pregnancy hormones magnify things to the 'nth' degree and kick your emotions up by a few thousand notches on the intensity scale. I feel disappointed in myself when I'm not reaching my targets, or even just the basic standards of what I expect of myself.

But I had a reminder in the form of LaYinka Sanni's instastory takeover on the sisters in business instagram page. It was much needed, and testament once again to the fact that Allah is the best of planners. I heard what I needed to hear, and upon reflection I've been able to apply the lesson to the current challenges I am facing.

"What was the reminder" the blank white space on my screen curiously asks?

I smile peacefully and carry on typing: "the reminder was this."

That I need to put Allah subhana wa ta'ala forefront at whatever I'm doing, seek Him, and seek His barakaat (blessings) and elevate things so that they are truly pleasing to him!

This reminder makes the utmost sense to me, I definitely believe that success lies this way. So much of what's been going on lately has managed to bring me down and put me in a low place. The great thing about being at the bottom though, is that you are free to taste humility, and also it puts you in the perfect position to rise Gracefully, knowing that there is no power or might except with your Rabb (Lord).

I've even been inspired with another poem/spoken word piece ! Alhamdulillah 😊

Barak'allahu feekum to LaYinka and Hanifa 💖

Putting Allah first in whatever I do means that even when I fail I succeed. I'm able to recognise His decree, and humble myself before what has been written for me. It doesn't mean I stop trying, in fact for me it means I've got to try harder, knowing that I'm working towards a divine purpose bi'ithni'llah.
Putting Allah first means that I recognise that when I'm failing, I am also learning from these pitfalls, and that these lessons are all part of the process. That the insights I pick up when I fall, when I am left to recognise my utter powerlessness before The Creator and His plan for me, should stick with me as I pick myself up and try again.

And that if I reflect I can find even in my most dejecting of failings, places where I have improved, and grown, and progressed.

Alhamdulilah!

๏ปฟMotherhood Musingsย 

I love bedtime. Not my bedtime, but my little one’s bed time. 

It’s the time when the toys on the floor get cleaned up, and with them the possibility of stubbing your toe one more time on a wooden block. 

It usually happens after hubby gets home. It’s the time my working day ends … Well sort of, as a mother does your working day ever really end? Your ears are always alert to the cry that lets you know that duty calls once more. (Phrasing it like that, makes mums sound like superheroes).

For me the best bits about bedtime are bath time, and night time nursing.

I love the playful giggles of bath time, and the peacefulness of bedtime nursing. 

The lights are off and the baby smells of coconut oil, warm and snuggled in closely, peacefully nursing (unlike day time feeds ๐Ÿ˜†) and then soon enough he’s drifting off to sleep, perhaps clutching my arm or t-shirt. 

These days the the slow and quiet snugly baby moments are few and far between. At just shy of 11 months old, our baby is a non-stop, always moving, emphatically babbling,  pretty tiring, tiny person. He’s got so much personality, and makes me laugh in wonder and amazement, and at other times cry in frustration or exasperation.

There is so much that is difficult about motherhood, so much that is exhausting, and so much that is emotionally wearing, at the same time there is so much that is rewarding, so much that is empowering and uplifting, and so much about being a mother that fills my heart. 

Alhamdulillah 

All praise and thanks is due to God

When your world shakes

ย ย I sit here and quake,

And tears flood my eyes,

As I think about how losing you

Has given breath to a deep sadness

And at the same time has welled

Springs of gratitude.

ใ€‚

My little love,

Gone before I even knew

How much I could fully come to love you.

You were the first,
Goodness,

An eye cooling droplet.

ใ€‚

I sit here and contemplate

That losing you,

and having you to begin with

Came from one of my biggest mistakes.

But look at the Greatness

Of the One that causes the earth to shake!

ใ€‚

That loss could be my win

In fact the biggest blessing

And wipe away my sins.

That the tears that ran so hot

Pouring forth from a burnt heart

Could be cleansing and healing,

And eventually, cooling.

ใ€‚

Calling me ever near

To the One

that caused me

To find your life so dear.

ใ€‚

That I learnt from losing you

Where it was I should store my love.

That I learnt from your being washed away,

That there is ย a wide shore of Mercy.

ใ€‚

Wide enough to keep

All the love in the world

Of the mothers who weep,

And the fathers who loose sleep.

ใ€‚

That for you,

And those who come after you,

The love that follows

Innately imbued

In the heart of a human

Is only a droplet,

A tiny reflection.

ใ€‚

That if you come to this shore,

And that droplet falls,

And the loss has you floored,

You can swim in that sea of Mercy.

ใ€‚

You can swim,

In the deepest love

You’ve ever known,

And find your solace,

In the Greatness of the One

Who causes the world to shake!

ยฉ 2015 Azeezat A.B. Aboderin

Bonus, a reading by the author ๐Ÿ™‚

Rู Eู Sู Pู Eู Cู Tู 

Salaamu alaykum peace upon you,

I am so grateful to have gotten through the past month. It has had it’s upsides and its downsides, but ultimately I can say I learnt a lot. Alhamdulillah, all praise is due to Allah.

Today, whilst I was painting my nails, and watching Supernanny, I got to thinking about one of my younger brothers. He’s a really cool kid. He’s intelligent, funny, and he can be considerate, when he wants to be!
Continue reading “Rู Eู Sู Pู Eู Cู Tู ”

…. A long cold winter

ุณู„ุงู…ูˆุงู„ูŠูƒู… – salamu alaykum- peace be upon you,

I know, once again, it’s been ages since I posted anything of note on here. I have such valid excuses though ๐Ÿ˜›

My Excuses

1) arabic grammar is kicking my butt.
I have to devote a lot of time to reading during my week, if I have any hope of actually learning arabic.

2) British sign language linguistics is also getting in on kicking my butt.

Yeah, a lot of reading/ studying going on right now, and with an exam coming up in January, I’ve got to be on top of things ^_^

3) I’m studying for my driving exams.
I need a licence, and a car, and I need to be off public transport ASAP bi’ithni’llah.

4) I feel pretty unwell right now. Some sort of winter virus combo… Flu/ cold, you name it ๐Ÿ˜Š

Still I just wanted to let you guys know, I am still alive, and kicking ๐Ÿ˜€

Take care lovelies
Salaamu alaykum

Azeezat

Here have a picture ๐Ÿ™‚
X

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Make hay

ุณู„ุงู…ูˆุงู„ูŠูƒู…ุŒุตู†ุฌ ุงู„ุฎูŠุฑ

Peace be upon you, good morning!
That lush review is definitely coming, I’ve been pretty busy finding a routine where I can go to class, study, eat well, sleep enough, exercise, study, revise, reread my notes, spend time with family, stay on top of scouts preparations, AOHL tasks, and work.

Alhamdulillah it seems that I’m getting there, but blogging seems to have scuttled down to the bottom of my list of priorities.

Ah.

Also I need to start driving soon. In’sha’allah

Xx

In the meantime, please have at some pictures I took.

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Argh

ุณู„ุงู…ูˆุงู„ูŠูƒู… – peace upon you.

I have so much blogging to catch up on, and studying, and general errands.

Anyway alhamdulilah (all) praise is due to Allah- my uncle got married on Saturday.

Watch this space for the nikkah & walimah post, the lush review I promised you, and some other bits and bobs.

Catch you later.
ุณู„ุงู…ูˆุงู„ูŠูƒู…

Continue reading “Argh”

The sisters I chose

We all have a family we are born into. Alhamdulilah (all praise is due to Allah). We may or may not always get on with them or like them, or even live with them, or know them that well, or understand the language they speak, or their modes and methods for getting things done. They are however … our family, both a test and a blessing.
In fact they often demonstrate that they are a test and blessing in the same breath.

This post isn’t about them today. Today this post is about those people we adopt into our life as family. Today’s post is about the sisters I chose for myself.

Alhamdulillah, the road my life has travelled so far has been filled with potholes, pitfalls, and rest stops. It has also been filled with the wind in my hijab, the sun on my back, and laughing voices in the backseat of the vehicle of my life.

I have sisters from Italy, and sisters from Singapore, sisters from Spain, and sisters from The Phillipines, sisters from The Gambia, sisters from Nigeria, and sisters from America. TabarakAllah! (Blessed Allah) May Allah grant them goodness, guidance, sakinah (tranquility), pure intentions, and blessings; in this life and the next.
Amin.

Current view on the road
Current view on the road

Forever and a day…

Salamu walaykum, (Allah’s peace be upon you)

It feels like ages since I’ve posted anything here, and I’m pretty sure I was sitting down to write a post last week, but I can’t find it in my drafts, and I don’t seem to have posted it, so perhaps that was a dream?

Any who, how are you?
How are you doing? What’s new in your life?

Alhamdulillah (All praise is due to Allah) I’ve been really busy, and blessed lately. You probably know by now, that I prefer it when I’m busy, and my mind is being engaged, and I’ve got to make use of my reminder app, my phone’s calendar, the calendar in my living room, and my organiser to get everything done.

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If you didn’t know…. Now you do! I’m always at my most efficient, when I’m busy, and I’m aware that every moment counts.

Continue reading “Forever and a day…”

… <3

ahhhhhhh

salamu walaykum ๐Ÿ™‚ (Peace be upon you )

That noise up there? It’s the contented sigh of my heart.
Please don’t mind my cheesiness, I’m just, happy alhamdulilah (all praise is due to Allah). A lot of new things have happened since the last time I posted anything, and you know despite any of the new complications or struggles, or even challenges, that new things tend to sometimes invite, I can truly say that I am one happy bunny.

If you’ve been reading this blog for a while, you’ve probably figured out, that when something really good happens in my life, I tend to not want to share that news with people immediately… I don’t know why that is exactly… and if I try to examine my reasoning too closely …. it might bring up some interesting results. So i’ll just leave it at that.

I’m sure someone reading this recognises that feeling of not wanting to share your good thing immediately… a sort of protective feeling if you will, like not wanting to expose a new sapling to too much to quickly, for fear that it might stunt it’s growth…

Just a request: please keep me in your prayers, you’re in mine ๐Ÿ™‚