Money Mastermind

One of my amazing and brilliant friends had the bold and visionary idea to start a money mastermind group. It was an inspired idea to get our respective finances and money mindsets in order and we’re a couple weeks in and going strong.

Something that someone said on one of our group calls really impacted me, you know those moments where you hear something and you have to stop because the words resonate so much that it feels like they’ve physically taken hold of you and changed your perspective? So in that moment you’re silently re-examining everything you’ve ever experienced with this new possibility in mind. It was a big moment.

On the topic of something that scared us/dragged us far out of our comfort zone, I mentioned that spoken word definitely feels a whole word of scary to me, I wasn’t the only one who felt that way, on a tangent it’s interesting to me how many of my friends are “private poets” let’s call it (expressing the feelings through poetry in a very personal and not for public consumption kind of way).

The thing that blew me away? To paraphrase: “poetry is a means of you expressing how you feel, there’s no need for you to be comparing your poetry to anyone else’s, the thing that you really have to ask yourself is whether you believe your feelings matter.”

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.

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Wow!

Just wow. Even writing this out again from memory i’m still taken aback by it, their is so much truth in this statement, and when I ask myself, I know that on some level along the way I did learn or take on board the messaging that my feelings weren’t important.

I felt the words in my chest. Naturally I had to write about it. I’ve got some idea of where some of this messaging came from, certain life experiences etc. Saying that I also think that’s a large part of the messaging of our society, at least historically, I think things are starting to change, (though the pendulum effect might be taking place and it seems to be overcompensating and swinging really far in the direction of “my feelings matter more than anyone else’s”) .

Even still it’s such an important thing to consider whether on some level you hold a limiting belief to that effect, then having identified that, what will you do about that?

Take care

Find Words Weave

7 shades of excited- returning to uni

woman reading book
Photo by Christina Morillo on Pexels.com

I am all kinds of excited to be returning back to university.

I recently got my results back, and feel so grateful, and humbled. Some of the work I submitted was during some really challenging times for me, where I was emotionally distraught by things going on for me at the time, and stressed out about meeting certain deadlines, and really pushing myself to get my work done to a good standard. It just felt like my results were an example of God’s Grace on me, and a validation for the effort I put in.

Our module handbooks are being uploaded to moodle gradually, and looking over them, I can see that this term they’ve upped the ante, as well as the word counts :D. Im determined to write my assignments ahead of time so as to make use of feedback from student support and lecturers, I think that’s the way to really reach my goal of a first class degree. I can do it! I’m also looking forward to the structure that regularly going to uni brings.

Full of hope, excitement, enthusiasm, and determination.

What are you guys looking forward to of late?

Take care,

Fine words weave

Met my Deadline, the fanfare sounds hollow

(Current background on all my devices courtesy of Knit picks with slight modification by me)

So I finally met my deadline. Yay I got my two thousand word essay submitted on time, just barely.

When coming up to a deadline does anyone else feel the pressure building and building and building… no one? Just me? *flops down with a dramatic sigh*

In a way I think I normally thrive on that pressure. The tension builds up, and I bolster myself by looking forward to that feeling of relief and joy that I usually get as soon as the essay has been submitted. However today that feeling was nowhere to be found, I submitted my paper in turnitin and I just felt like okay. That’s good. You got it done… okay.

Things just rang a bit hollow. You know? I talked myself into doing a little happy dance, just because one of my commitments to myself is to celebrate milestones along the way.

I’m wondering if the recent chapter in my life’s story book beginning its conclusion overshadowed my joy. Im not sure because in terms of that I feel very much at peace and have a deep sense of clarity and acceptance.

Maybe I pushed myself too hard towards the end and my brain just needs a reset. That happens quite often. I mean as much effort as I put into the planning, and as much as that made theessay writing easier, I did still end up writing up about one thousand eight hundred of those words between the hours of 1pm and 3:52 pm this afternoon. That’s pretty radical when i think about it.

Hmm, okay I’ve got it now. Writing is such an illuminating process. My conclusion and introduction were both very rushed, and I have a sense that they may bring my grade down, however a late submission would mean an automatic 5% deduction of my mark. So I chose to submit on time. My takeaway? Even if you have a great planning strategy, you still need to factor in time to write, proofread, and submit your essay.

Ah it’s good to have gotten a handle on my internal thouggt process through writing this. .

All day I just noticed myself being a bit slower, slightly more thoughtful, so very aware of my need in front of my Rabb, and grateful for the small things. Whilst these are all good things not being able to put my finger on why was sloghtly agitating.

Now I can happily get bavk to be grateful for things like taking my kids to nursery and not needing to lug the buggy up and down three flights of stairs, my youngest bubba is getting to be a big boy ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญAlhamdulillah

Take care

Azeezat Adeola,

Fine words weave

P.s. another commitment to myself is to get some writing on this blog once a week. At the very least.

Week 1 โœ…

Return to youtube

aperture black blur camera
Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

Hey loves,

I’m doing a YouTube comeback tour ๐Ÿ˜…, okay to be clearer, I’m having another go at YouTube . This time around my channel is a lot more focused, with more regularly scheduled content.

It will have a lot of study content on it, vlogs, tips for mature students and student parents, both of which, I am.

I will eventually be sharing crafty and knitting videos, and hopefully I’ll have some guests on.

You can find it here

Here’s my channel intro if you’d like a sample of my videography

https://youtu.be/eUOtTW2wzmQ

I’ve really been having fun experimenting with different video editing and filming techniques. Really putting that photography course to good use… finally.

Alright, hope you’re well, and speak to you soon.

Take care

Fine words weave

Thirst for knowledge.

 

 

turned on floor lamp near sofa
Photo by Ricardo Esquivel on Pexels.com

 

Late at night, a few essays due for uni, and I find myself scouring the net, thirsty for knowledge. Unconcerned with the topic of my essay for now, instead I read article after article of Black British women. My peers, doing amazing things, speaking about racism, race, culture, the impact it has….

My mind makes note of names, and words, I search for books on amazon, adding them to my basket, purchasing a few on audible with my backlog of credits.

It dawns on me, how thirsty I am for this knowledge. How absent it was from the majority of my education, or how two dimensional it was, when it was present there.

 

There are so many thoughts about how disconnected it all is, and a part of me grieves for my younger self.

 

Still, there is hope, with every breath there is hope.

 

Still learning, and reading…

Reading through your chosen lense

accessory blur book close up

 

 

Salaam alaykum, Peace be upon you,ย folks,

It’s been quite a while since my last post. Our youngest is starting to find his feet, and his interest in exploring various corners of our house has kept me on my toes. Anywho, today I was reading an email by Omar Usman who writes about the Fiqh of Social Mediaย on Mosque Inreach vs Outreach, whilst I enjoy reading his emails and find them to be full of thought provoking goodness, (hence me feeling like I need to read them when I have the time and quiet to do so with at least a little bit of concentration), I realised that this morning, at least, I was reading the article with my parental sense on. Certain phrases jumped out at me, and seemed to me to be sound advice for parenting, achieving a goal, things to do with my business…

 

Here’s one example.

โ€œWhoever is tasked with the spiritual leadership, or shepherding, of the community must develop a vision for what that development (tarbiyyyah) process looks like over time and how to achieve it.โ€

This could be applied in so many different areas of life.

How many times does the lense/ mindset we currently have affect how we read things and/ or scenarios?

I’m making a commitment to write more often.

Take care,

Write to you soon, in’sha’Allah.

Gentleness only beautifies a thing

I think one of the things that we as muslims, especially muslim parents have to realise is that we must not be oppressors. Especially when it comes to our children, they have so many rights over us! They have been entrusted into out care by the Creator of the heavens and the earth.

And yes it’s a constant struggle (jihad ul nafs) to remain patient, and considerate, and respectful but it’s important to remember that raising a child is an act of worship (ibadah), it’s important to reflect and renew our intentions, to aim for the best we can do (ihsan), and to be humble respectful and not feel like you cannot apologise when you slip up asking forgiveness from them and also istighfar.

Look at our examples, look at the beautiful respectful and gentle way rasulallah salallahu alayhi wa salaam treated the young people around him.
One only needs to look to the seerah and hadith to see that he was extremely merciful, and patient when it came to children.

I’ll be the first to admit that I do struggle with this, so this really is a reminder to myself first and foremost. I pray Allah makes our hearts soft, and blesses us with patience, mercy, and compassion for all of the youth. Gentleness only beautifies a thing. ๐Ÿ’•

Words for mother, lettered / Arathi Devandran

I was going through my wordpress reader, looking at the sites that I’ve been following for long time, intending to do a purge of sorts, a clean up so my reader would show what I’d currently like to read. And then I found this blogger, Arathi, or miffalicious as was once her wordpress handle, though that seems defunct, as she moved to self hosting, which won’t open for some reason. However there was a link to her twitter, and down the rabbit hole I went until I stumbled onto this post written by her, and I just had to reblog it here. It reminds me of why I followed her originally, her beautiful way with words. I wonder where she is, and what she’s doing nowadays…

Anyway an ode to bloggers you followed in your teens.

RIC Journal

Dear Momma,

The strangest thing seems to be happening as I grow older. I am beginning to understand you. And as I understand you, I realise that in many ways, I am beginning to understand myself.

I understand, Momma, that you are not perfect, even though I expect you to be. When you fail, my ideas of what should, and shouldnโ€™t be, come crashing down. And I struggle. I struggle to forgive you for making mistakes, and for throwing me into an abyss of confusion.

And yet, when I do begin this process of forgiving you, Momma, I realise that in actuality, I am forgiving myself. Forgiving myself for the expectations that Iโ€™ve placed upon myself and my need for perfection.

I understand, Momma, that you have your own desires and wishes that, increasingly, are so separate, and yet so similar, to mine. We are not the same person, Mommaโ€ฆ

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Intentional “Mothering”

Recently, I saw this picture on Instagram. I took the time to read it, I’m glad i did, it wast an incredibly powerful and beautiful reminder. Naturally, I decided to repost it, but when I found the caption I was typing underneath just kept getting longer and longer, I decided to turn my thoughts on it into a blog post.

The picture itself, came at a really good time, I’d been struggling, feeling overwhelmed, and in need of support. I’ve really been feeling the test of parenting lately, and keep finding myself in need of some serious self care, and rest! (Rest, a mother’s dream, right? :D).
This post though, it was a jolting shock, and a much needed reminder, of the bigger picture. Reading it prompted reflection, and a chance to refocus.

One of my chief complaints in the early months of my own motherhood journey was that it seemed to be a twenty-four hour gig, with no breaks, no pit-stops, or days off. That I was on-call twenty four seven, and it was just too difficult. Subhanallah! As I continue on this journey I keep returning to the realisation that all of the hardships we face and feel, every single one of them are a ni’amah (a gift/blessing) especially when they increase you in awareness of your complete dependence on and reliance in Allah.

And then when you consider the ultimate grace, that it is all counted as ibadah (an act of worship); That in loving, nurturing, teaching, and caring for your child/ren you are earning good deed upon good deed; that in being a mother you are actively building your place in the hereafter, you cannot help but be humbled and filled with gratitude that this, the hardest task you’ve ever faced in your life is as immense in reward as it is in significance.

That mothering, is merely another manifestation of the sincere actions of a slave before her Lord, and amazingly not a single second of it goes unrecorded, unrecognised, or unaccounted for with Him.
May Allah keep us sincere, and cognisant of this.

I pray that ย Allah keep us sincere in our intentions and ever conscious that each time we are tired, or stressed, or frustrated, or feel like we’re failing, or not doing as much spiritually as we had been, that as mothers our honour lies in our almost constant in a state of ibadah. Alhamdulillah! And we will, bi’ithni’llah (with Allah’s permission) find our reward for the struggle with our Lord.
Ameen.

 

 

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