Deadlines & Photoshoots

I have back to back deadlines coming up, and I’ve not felt stressed in anyway. However, I’ve also not felt a sense of urgency either. So I’ve lackadaisically left everything to the last minute. And still I don’t feel particularly stressed.

It’s a very strange surreal experience, I feel like the faily meditations with the 21 days of abundance challenge I’ve been taking part in, is definitely a contributing factor to this. I just feel this overwhelming sense of trust and surety, that it will be done.

A familiar part of me wants to chastise myself, but a wiser more accepting part feels like, this is exactly how it was meant to play out and it isn’t even the best use of my energy syressing about it, but rather putting that energy into completing my assignements on time to the best of my abilities is better.

So grateful for this storyboarding your essays technique It’s actually saving my behind.

In other news: today I had a photo shoot! A really fun experience with a friend that culminated in me interviewing her about a project I got the chance to be a part of. I’ll be putting it together for YouTube- soonish (bi’ithni’llah) … Once I get all my work out of the way. I’m really excited to edit it, and see what the end result is. I feel like we have great in person chemistry, I wonder how that will translate on screen once I work on the footage.

Me en-route photo shoot… in the rain ☔️

February goals check in

So I set a self-commitment to upload four oosts to this blog this month, and four vidoes to youtube. I think I’m 2/4 on each of those, still there’s time. I think it’s all possible, it’s just about making the most of my time. Speaking of, I deleted the instagram from my phone yesterday in order to be a bit more focused.

To conclude (can you tell im in essay writing mode?) I hope you are all doing well, going for your goals, and looking after yourself too (it’s a delicate balance- at least in my experience- and even still, we can do it!)

Take care,

Azeezat Adeola A B A

Fine words weave

Met my Deadline, the fanfare sounds hollow

(Current background on all my devices courtesy of Knit picks with slight modification by me)

So I finally met my deadline. Yay I got my two thousand word essay submitted on time, just barely.

When coming up to a deadline does anyone else feel the pressure building and building and building… no one? Just me? *flops down with a dramatic sigh*

In a way I think I normally thrive on that pressure. The tension builds up, and I bolster myself by looking forward to that feeling of relief and joy that I usually get as soon as the essay has been submitted. However today that feeling was nowhere to be found, I submitted my paper in turnitin and I just felt like okay. That’s good. You got it done… okay.

Things just rang a bit hollow. You know? I talked myself into doing a little happy dance, just because one of my commitments to myself is to celebrate milestones along the way.

I’m wondering if the recent chapter in my life’s story book beginning its conclusion overshadowed my joy. Im not sure because in terms of that I feel very much at peace and have a deep sense of clarity and acceptance.

Maybe I pushed myself too hard towards the end and my brain just needs a reset. That happens quite often. I mean as much effort as I put into the planning, and as much as that made theessay writing easier, I did still end up writing up about one thousand eight hundred of those words between the hours of 1pm and 3:52 pm this afternoon. That’s pretty radical when i think about it.

Hmm, okay I’ve got it now. Writing is such an illuminating process. My conclusion and introduction were both very rushed, and I have a sense that they may bring my grade down, however a late submission would mean an automatic 5% deduction of my mark. So I chose to submit on time. My takeaway? Even if you have a great planning strategy, you still need to factor in time to write, proofread, and submit your essay.

Ah it’s good to have gotten a handle on my internal thouggt process through writing this. .

All day I just noticed myself being a bit slower, slightly more thoughtful, so very aware of my need in front of my Rabb, and grateful for the small things. Whilst these are all good things not being able to put my finger on why was sloghtly agitating.

Now I can happily get bavk to be grateful for things like taking my kids to nursery and not needing to lug the buggy up and down three flights of stairs, my youngest bubba is getting to be a big boy 😭😭Alhamdulillah

Take care

Azeezat Adeola,

Fine words weave

P.s. another commitment to myself is to get some writing on this blog once a week. At the very least.

Week 1 ✅